Confessions Come Back to Haunt You
by EvilBeowulf98
Summary: Amu first confesses to Ikuto in high school, but he didn't get a chance to tell her how he feels. What happens when they meet again years later and Amu is in a relationship? Rated MA for later lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**HI! Anyway I got this idea from a dream. I know it's a cliché but most of the first part until the time skip I actually dreamed about, just with me and a different boy ;). I usually don't remember my dreams so I was really surprised when I remembered this one, so I decided to write a story off of it. I also thought it reminded me of one of my very favorite songs by Damien Rice called "The Blower's Daughter", you guys should listen to it while reading this because it really does match the first part :). Anyway, on with the story**

Amu was cleaning out her locker, trying to find her lost textbook. Instead of her history text though, she found a bundle of notes, tied together with a midnight blue ribbon. All thoughts of her textbook flew out of her head as she cradled the bundle, reliving every moment she had had with him. When they first met, she had tripped and he had caught her and held her to him for a few seconds. When they discovered they had a lot of the same interests and talked until eight at night until dawn. When he took her out to the movies again and again until she called it a date. When they first kissed. She smiled fondly and blushed a bit as she remembered all of this, and then suddenly flinched as she remembered one of the most important memories. When she discovered that he had a girlfriend.

She stood up angrily and slammed her locker shut at that thought, yelling angrily inside her head. "I should've known! He's popular, hot, mysterious, amazing, and… I love him." She had finally admitted to herself that she loved him and, instead of feeling relieved, she was close to crying. She still had the letters in her hand and, in a fit of emotion, she started to crumple the letters and tear them up. But she couldn't bring herself to do it; after all soon the precious letters would be all she had left of him. She sighed as she flattened out some of the corners that had been folded up. Then, she shouldered her pack resolutely and started to slowly walk down the hallway, remembering everything that had happened to her.

Suddenly the bell rang and students practically ran out of their classrooms, happy to be free, even if it was for only a few minutes. Amu smiled sadly as she watched her last mad rush from classroom to classroom in her high school, and then she froze. Out of the classroom at the end of the hall a tall, dark boy had stopped, then immediately been engulfed with fan girls. He was being pushed out of Amu's line of sight, but he had been surveying the hall, as if searching for someone. Abruptly, she blushed bright red as his piercing midnight blue eyes met her honey gold ones. As usual her body reacted without the permission of her mind, and she happily smiled in his direction. Instead of smirking, which was his usual response, he actually smiled, making him look sweet and happy.

At first she blushed even brighter red, but then it suddenly hit her, she would never see him again. So, gathering all her courage, she mouthed, "I love you." His brow furrowed as he mouthed back, "What?" She then yelled "I LOVE YOU!" but the noise of the rest of the students drowned her out. However, he seemed to understand her, because his eyes widened in shock and he started to yell something back. But before he could say anything other than "I..." his fan girls pulled him away from Amu, effectively ending their conversation.

The tears, which had been pooling in her eyes, overflowed, silently running down her cheeks. The late bell then rang as she stood in the now empty hall. She stood still for another minute or so, thinking about her love, and wondering what he had been trying to say. She considered running into his classroom and demanding to know what he had been saying, but she wouldn't be able to stand the rejection. Another bolt of pain shot through her as she visualized him saying "I don't like you." Just thinking about it made her have to lean against the wall for support. But, making a remarkable effort, she righted herself, wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, and started to slowly walk out of the school for the last time. Her pink hair gleamed in the lights, and the notes were pressed to her heart. She glanced over her shoulder once and said out loud "Goodbye… Ikuto."

_**Time Skip**_

Amu Hinamori stood outside of her old school. It had been seven years, but it hadn't changed much, unlike her. She had gone to college and gotten a major in teaching P.E. and a minor in music and art. She had matured mentally; somewhere in college she had been able to rationalize her love for Ikuto. She believed that he was just been a good friend, and her teenage hormones had been running rampant through her body, making her believe that she loved him. She had also matured physically, her hair was still a vibrant pink, but now it reached her mid-back instead of being cut at her shoulders. Her face was still cute, even though she had shed all of her baby fat through rigorous exercise. Her chest had also gotten bigger, and she was very proud of that. Instead of an A cup, she was now a solid C cup.

She had also had several boyfriends through the years; Kukai, Nagihiko, and Aruto just to name a few. But only one had stuck with her. She smiled as she thought about her lover Tadase. He was sweet, generous, and the perfect boyfriend, and now fiancée. Just a week earlier he had taken her out on the perfect date, a romantic Italian dinner, a lovely walk on the beach and then he had proposed to her under the full moon, with the water gleaming. She sighed and blushed as she remembered, and then she frowned. "It might be hard to be here, with all these memories." She thought to herself. She decided to try to be optimistic and smiled as she thought, "Oh well it can't be helped." Then she flipped her hair over her shoulder and strode into the school.

She strode to the principal's office and informed the secretary that she was there. A few minutes later a very nice principal ushered her into the office. She looked him up and down, it had become her habit at college, and decided that he was nothing much. He was a sweet guy with brown hair that had problems controlling people. She then smiled brightly at him and said "Hi, I'm Amu Hinamori, your new P.E. and arts teacher." He smiled back and replied "I am Yoson Arakida." Seeing as how he didn't like to waist time he immediately jumped into the matter at hand, her employment, "You will be teaching P.E. every day, and switch off with another teacher for art and music every other day. In fact the teacher you will be switching off with is coming as we speak." Amu blinked in surprise at how forward he was, but decided to just go with it. "Alright, that arrangement is perfect." She enthusiastically replied.

Suddenly, the door opened and a man walked in. "Oh good." Yoson exclaimed. "Amu, this is the other teacher you will switch off with." She turned around to meet his eyes with a smile already ready on her lips, but that soon died. Her first thought when she saw who it was: "Oh shit!"

**Mwahaha… Cliffhanger! I know this chapter is pretty short, but this was such a perfect spot to end it :D. Please review, because the more people who review the more motivated I am to continue the story! Also, If you see any grammatical errors, please PM me telling me about them, I always like knowing if I got anything wrong. Hope you enjoyed it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**IMPORTANT NOTE:**** The first paragraph in italics is a recap, but the rest of the times there is italics it is the persons thoughts. Got it? Also, this is sorta a mix between 3rd person and 1****st**** person. Which means that I will be writing in 3****rd**** person, but will usually only show Amu's thoughts. Alright, enjoy the second chappie!**

_Suddenly, the door opened and a man walked in. "Oh good." Yoson exclaimed. "Amu, this is the other teacher you will switch off with." She turned around to meet his eyes with a smile already ready on her lips, but that soon died. Her first thought when she saw who it was: "Oh shit!"_

_Why, oh why, oh WHY does it have to be him?_ She frantically thought as she stared into her old love's piercing blue eyes. Eyes which widened just slightly, and seemed to have a bolt of pain quickly shoot through them, but the next second hardened and just looked bored. Amu frowned when she saw that, _I must've imagined it._ She thought to herself, still thinking about the pain in his eyes. Ikuto smirked slightly and drawled, "Well well Yoson. You never told me the new teacher was so cute." He then leaned down to her level and made her blush by whispering right in her ear, "It is VERY good to see you again." Yoson watched this exchange confusingly, and asked "Do you two know each other already?" Amu blushed and looked down, just as she was about to confess that Ikuto was her old boyfriend, he spoke up. "I suppose you can say that." Ikuto smoothly cut Amu off. The principal looked between the two of them and seemed to decide not to pry. "Well than Ikuto, why don't you show Amu around the school?" Ikuto smirked and then just walked out of the room.

Amu hurriedly got up and rushed after him, throwing a thank you over her shoulder for the headmaster. He was already halfway down the hallway by the time she left the room, and she hurried to keep up with him. An awkward silence descended as soon as she got by his side, so she decided to be nice. "Umm, s-so, how h-have you been?" _Oh shit, I did not just stutter did I? _Amu yelled in her head. Ikuto smirked and looked down at her. "Well my little strawberry," he said while smirking even wider, "I have survived, how about you?" Amu suddenly felt the overwhelming need to tell him everything, how much she had missed him, how much she loved him, how much she needed him. But she quickly squashed this urge and just looked up at him with a cute smile and brightly said "I've been great." _Again, that flash of pain. _Amu thought to herself, _I wonder what's wrong. _There was an award silence again and Amu just said the first thing that popped into her mind "How are you and" she paused _Oh, damn what was his girlfriends name again…oh right _"Saaya doing?" He had been walking quite fast and had been looking ahead, but suddenly he stopped and stared right into her eyes while answering "We were married for a year and then got a divorce." Amu blushed and mumbled "I'm sorry." "Don't be." Was his swift reply, "I loved someone else anyway."

He smirked down at her shocked expression for a second and then started to walk again. "So what about you?" He asked when she finally caught up to him. Amu frowned, not understanding, and seeing this Ikuto clarified "How is your love life." Amu blushed when she realized what he had asked and mumbled "Ok I guess." But then she blushed even more and said even quieter, "I'm engaged." Ikuto stopped dead in his tracks again, and just stared at her with a shocked expression. His skin looked a bit pale, his eyes were big, and he looked like he was trembling slightly. All Amu knew was that he had stopped again, she hadn't seen his expression, so, annoyed, she asked him very sarcastically "Can we PLEASE go to the classroom now?" Ikuto seemed to be awakened from his stupor, and he smoothly replied, "Of course, it's this way."

They walked the rest of the way in silence, until they reached a door that read in midnight blue letters "MUSIC ROOM: TSYKIYOMI IKUTO" "It'll have your name on it soon." Ikuto murmured, glancing wearily at the door as if he didn't care, but really his heart beat faster just thinking about sharing a room with Amu. _Even if she is engaged, _Ikuto thought to himself, _I still love her. And,_ his eyes narrowed slightly and he snarled slightly, _I WILL have her!_

**I know it's super short, but this seemed like such a good place to end it. And I AM SORRY! I am so sorry for not updating in forever! It was just a combination of a bunch of things, mostly family problems, but…whatever, I just feel terrible for all you guys out there who actually like my story and want to read it. I honestly feel awful, and I promise that the next chappie will have a bunch of Ikuto teasing ;). So, please review, and if you're going to insult me or my story in some way, please make that little bit of effort to PM ****ME ****instead of posting it on the story. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I spent a long time on this chapter, but now that I'm on fall break I can just sit up in my room with some chocolate and WRITE :D. Ahh, so happy! Here's the third chappie, ENJOY!**

_Recap:_

_They walked the rest of the way in silence, until they reached a door that read in midnight blue letters "MUSIC ROOM: TSYKIYOMI IKUTO" "It'll have your name on it soon." Ikuto murmured, glancing wearily at the door as if he didn't care, but really his heart beat faster just thinking about sharing a room with Amu. Even if she is engaged, Ikuto thought to himself, I still love her. And, his eyes narrowed slightly and he snarled slightly, I WILL have her!_

With that concluded, Ikuto smirked slightly, and thought of ways to get her back. _The only problem is,_ he thought to himself, _she's probably changed since high school… I know I have. _He reflected on his past life for a while. He had gone to a performing arts school, and had majored in performing and teaching music. After he had graduated, he had gone on tour around the world, making enough money to have Saaya living comfortably. Then, when he got enough money, he had married Saaya, the girlfriend that he had while he and Amu were hooking up. He had gone back on tour, then, when he got home, he had discovered that Saaya had been cheating on him with a stupid blonde hair freak. He had immediately called for a divorce, and he had been by himself for about a year. He had gotten a job teaching at his old high school out of desperation, he never felt like going on tour again afterwards. He had just felt like staying in one place and making a home for himself.

"Hello! Are you listening to me?" Ikuto jumped, as he came back to reality. Amu was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips, obviously ready to hit him if her shouting at him didn't wake him up. He immediately wondered what he had looked like to her while he was staring off into space. She answered that question soon enough, "What's wrong with you?" She asked concerned, "You were staring at me, with your mouth hanging open drooling." Ikuto's eyes widened slightly as he quickly felt his mouth _Damn it, I have been drooling. Quick! Need to think of something to cover up the embarrassment! Ahh, that's it. _He slowly smirked and said obstinately, "What's wrong Amu? Are men not allowed to drool while they're looking at you?" Amu blushed bright red. "You pervert!" She shrieked. "Aww Amu," he murmured while getting closer and leaning down to breath in her ear, "At least I'm YOUR pervert."

Amu blushed even brighter, and stepped back from him while looking at the floor. "Sh-show m-me the rest o-of the room." She requested. Ikuro smirked and said smoothly "Anything for you Amu." Before she could respond, he whirled away and started to describe how the class worked, but Amu wasn't listening. She was too busy trying to make her heart calm down. _He always has been a flirter, _she tried to reason with herself, _that doesn't mean he like me anymore… no not anymore, he never liked me. _"So, you got it?" She suddenly heard Ikuto asked. Amu quickly nodded her head, smiled, and replied "Well if that's it, I need to go." Ikuto glanced at her when she said that, and realizing that he looked interested he immediately went over to the folding chairs and started straightening them. He couldn't resist asking though "Why do you have to go?" Amu blushed and mumbled "I have a date with Tadase."

Ikuto twirled around, he couldn't believe his ears. "You're marrying TADASE, that egotistical, kiddy, blonde prick?!" He practically screamed. Amu was at first shocked, and then she got angry. "He is not egotistical nor kiddy! He is perfect, and manly enough to actually tell me he loves me, unlike you, you pathetic piece of shit." She stood there breathing hard, watching Ikuto's face change from angry to stunned and then…sad. She couldn't bear how hurt he looked, so, with tears welling in her eyes, she spun and ran out of the room. Ikuto wanted to run after her, but after considering how much she probably hated him now, he just wearily walked over to one of the folding chairs and slumped in it with his head in his hands.

_**Time Skip**_

Amu was dressed up in a black cocktail dress, with red high heels, and she was sitting in a very fancy restaurant waiting for Tadase. She sighed as she thought over what she had said to Ikuto earlier, _I shouldn't have been so mean, _she thought, _I was just taking out all my anxiety on him. _Lately she and Tadase hadn't been getting along very well. They were acting happy and loving, but really underneath the façade they were both a little bit discontented. Amu wanted Tadase to actually show up on time for dates, he was usually fifteen to twenty minutes late, and he always had a lame excuse that obviously wasn't true. Tadase wanted Amu to calm down, and stop being so uptight. Amu sighed again as she looked at the clock, he was seventeen minutes late. Finally he ran in, he was disheveled, with his tie not properly done and his clothes rumpled looking

Amu closed her eyes briefly as she chocked back her rage. _I am not going to get mad at him _she quickly decided. She then opened her eyes and smiled brightly at him, "Hey Tadase!" She said brightly. He looked at her face briefly and then looked her up and down before droning back "Hey sweetheart." Amu frowned a little bit, but decided not to give up; she got out of her chair and quickly strode over to him. She then gave him a quick peck on his cheek, and started to smooth down his clothes and straighten his tie. "Just leave it." He said sharply while going over to the table and settling himself in the chair, "Did you already order?" Amu glared at him for a few seconds, but decided to keep on trying.

"Nope, I just got myself a drink." She tried to say brightly, but it sounded so fake that Tadase's eyes narrowed and he looked up at her meanly. "C'mon. You CANNOT be angry at me! I'm only a few minutes late." He shouted at her. Amu glanced around the restaurant nervously, "Tadase," she said quietly, trying to calm him down, "Let's not make a scene, there are people already looking." "Oh, so now you're blaming it on ME! You bitch!" Tadase got out of his chair and put his face close to hers, still screaming, "I am NOT the one making a scene! If you weren't being so uptight then I wouldn't have to worry about being late!" By now Amu was looking stricken and tears were starting to fall down her cheeks, but Tadase just smiled sadistically and continued yelling, "But NO! I have to be on time for ever single fucking thing. You know what? I don't care about you! I never have and I NEVER will!" Amu was sobbing quietly trying to cover her ears so that she wouldn't hear what he was saying. Suddenly she felt a pair of warm hands on her shoulders.

Outside the restaurant a tall man was frowning in distaste while watching the couple interact. Ikuto had been wandering around, as was his habit, had stumbled across this restaurant and had seen Tadase walking in. He was curious so he looked in the window and saw Amu. She looked so beautiful, but he could tell that she was sad. He saw her look up and see Tadase, and for a few seconds she looked mad, but then she composed herself and pretended to be happy, but Ikuto could see through her mask. He watched her get up, greet him, and try to act like she was so happy to see him. He started to frown when he saw Tadase blow off Amu. He watched the couple tense up until finally Tadase started to scream at Amu for no apparent reason. His eyes narrowed and he immediately felt protective when he saw Amu start to cry. _He'll stop now, _he thought to himself in relief, _nobody can watch Amu crying and still be mean to her._

But instead of stopping, Amu's tears seemed to give Tadase some sick pleasure and he started to scream even louder, loud enough that Ikuto could hear what he was saying, "…know what? I don't care about you! I never have and I NEVER will!" Ikuto growled deep in his throat when he heard that, and finally he walked inside the restaurant to confront the man who was making his beloved cry.

"Excuse me," He said quietly to Tadase while softly putting his hands on Amu's shoulders, "Is there a problem?" Tadase's eye twitched when he saw this stranger come and touch HIS Amu like he owned her, "Get your filthy hands off of her!" He screamed at him. The stranger smirked and retorted with, "But I thought that you don't care about you, that you never have and you NEVER will." Tadase's face got bright red when he heard this, but, before he could say anything, the stranger had murmured something in Amu's ear that he couldn't hear that she had nodded to and had led her away.

Amu had jumped a little bit when she felt hands on her, but had calmed down when she heard the stranger's voice. _Ikuto, thank god, _was her first thought. She heard the rest of the conversation and then Ikuto had leaned down and whispered in her ear "Would you like to get away from him?" Amu nodded and let herself be led away by him.

**Wow. I feel like I made Tadase a huge asshole. I don't know about you guys, but I really wanted to punch him for what he was doing to Amu. Oh well, hope you enjoyed, and I know that I promised lemons, but it's just too early in the story for that, but I promise that next chapter will have a lime ;)! Anyway, you guys know the drill: please review and no flamers please! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok, I know it's been FOREVER, but I am really sorry. I just started to really hate writing, then I just found the spark again I guess. Anyway: Enjoy. I don't own Shugo Chara.**

_Recap:_

_Amu had jumped a little bit when she felt hands on her, but had calmed down when she heard the stranger's voice. "Ikuto, thank god," was her first thought. She heard the rest of the conversation and then Ikuto leaned down and whispered in her ear "Would you like to get away from him?" Amu nodded and let herself be led away by him._

Ikuto was still almost shaking with rage, even when they had walked around for almost twenty minutes. The couple hadn't talked at all; both had been too caught up in their own thoughts. Ikuto was still thinking about Tadase and how much he wanted to hurt Tadase for making Amu cry. Amu was thinking about Ikuto. _I wonder how he found me, _she thought blushing a little bit. _It's just like the old times_ she then thought, smiling fondly at her memories. When she had been in high school, she had been nothing, the bottom of the social heap, just enough in the awareness of the other children for them to torment her. When Ikuto was around, however, it had been different. Ikuto had protected her. At first, he hadn't even known her; he had just seen a cute girl being harassed by some of the popular girls.

What Amu didn't know is how impressed Ikuto had been with her even before they had met. He had been watching her for a few weeks, and he was incredibly impressed with how strong she was. Usually she would just ignore all the taunts that she was getting, and walk by her classmates with her head down, but when she had bumped into him was when she had finally begun to crack. She had been being so tormented by some of the football jocks that she had been running away crying. She couldn't see where she was going, so she had run into Ikuto, who had been coming to try and help her. He had finally been so fed up with how everybody treated her that he was coming to tell everybody off for harassing her; as soon as he had seen her tearstained face though he had completely forgotten about punishing them. He just wanted to make sure Amu was alright.

He sighed and turned his head to watch Amu walking. Her eyes were still slightly red, but she had finally stopped crying. Then, for the first time that night, he looked her up and down, and his jaw almost dropped. He had been so worried about her that he hadn't taken the time to look at he properly, and now he slowed down until he could look at her from behind. Her black dress was clingy and enunciated all of her curves, and her heels made her legs look deliciously long. Amu seemed to finally have realized that he had stopped and had turned around with her hands on her hips to frown at him.

"What are you doing?" She questioned with narrowed eyes. Ikuto quickly realized that she wasn't in the mood to be teased and hurriedly looked around before saying "Just…seeing where we were. My apartment is close to here. Do you want to get a drink and warm up?" Amu let her hands fall off of her hips, and, seeming to realize that she was cold, put them on her arms to rub them. She looked around quickly, as if she was trying to look for some escape, but then conceded and murmured a quick "Alright." Ikuto started heading for his apartment, but then stopped and took his jacket off to wrap around Amu's shoulders. "I'm sorry," she whispered while pulling the fabric closer to her, "I must have left mine at the restaurant with…" she trailed off. Ikuto smiled at her even though she wasn't looking at him and gently said, "It's fine. C'mon, it's just around the corner from here."

They walked the short distance in silence, entered the building, Ikuto unlocked his apartment door, and they stepped in. Amu was surprised at how clean it was, she thought that the typical 'bachelor's pad' was always a mess. He led her into the small kitchen and busied himself rummaging through the cupboards to make some tea. "You still like green tea right?" Ikuto's voice shook Amu out of her wonderings, and she nodded shortly, and then gingerly went over to the small table beside the window and sat down. A few minutes later a steaming cup of tea appeared in front of her, and she was again jolted awake. _She must be in shock. _Ikuto thought, he then saw red as he thought of the person who had made Amu feel so terrible. _I'm going to punch him the next time I see him_, he decided happily. He glanced up through his bangs at Amu, she was sitting with the tea in her hand, just staring at it. He then decided that she needed some help, so he said the first thing that came to his brain: "So…umm…how did you and Tadase get engaged?" He mentally slapped himself as she frowned at him before she sighed and started to tell him what had happened to her after graduation.

"Well Tadase and I have known each other ever since middle school practically. We might not have been close friends, but, we could smile at each other in the hallways and maybe have a conversation every once in a while. Then in high school when I discovered that you had a…girlfriend," she noticeably winced when she said that, but Ikuto didn't see her because he was taking a sip of tea, "well when I discovered about you and Saaya, he helped me a lot. Then, we discovered that we were going to the same college, and, well, we helped each other out. His dog died during our fourth year, and he had a mental breakdown, which I helped him through. After that he confessed. I had gone out with a few other boys but," she blushed as she looked down, "it really wasn't the same as with him." A flash of pain danced across Ikuto's face when he heard that, but his face was soon hidden under his bangs and he was just listening. "After going out for a few years, he proposed, I said yes. We just haven't really had time to plan a wedding since then. I thought that we had all the time in the world, I mean, we loved…"she broke off as she realized her mistake and quickly amended it, "I meant to say we love each other, sorry slip of the tongue. Anyway, we love each other so I didn't see why he wanted to rush into a marriage, but recently he has become very moody. I don't know what's wrong with him! He's…changed somehow. I don't know how to fix it! I'm just so…scared." With that she pushed her tea to the side and dropped her head in her hands and started to sob again.

Ikuto frowned, froze for a few seconds, then, throwing caution to the wind, stood up and went over to Amu's side of the table to draw her into a hug. His arms fit around her perfectly and one hand went naturally to the back of her neck while one went to her waist. Amu snuggled into him, and soon their hug turned into a full out embrace as Ikuto released the hand around her neck and instead tilted her chin up to gaze into her beautiful honey-comb eyes. Her mouth automatically opened as she started to slightly pant, and soon Ikuto could not resist. He slowly leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. It was soft and sweet, it had all the love and emotion that Amu had been craving for a long time, and she quickly surrendered to her emotions and just let the physical take over.

Ikuto broke away to gasp in a small amount of oxygen, and then swiftly captured Amu's lips again. This time it was hot and passionate. He traced her lip with his, and nibbled at it until she finally relented and allowed him to enter. He savored her taste as he crushed her body to his. He knew that she would stop him soon, and he wanted to make the most of it. Meanwhile, Amu;s mind was racing, knowing that she shouldn't be doing this, but loving every second of it. Eventually she was jolted out of her pleasure when Ikuto lightly squeezed her ass.

She scrambled out of his arms and fell back against the table, her chest heaving. Ikuto sighed, and ran his hand through his hair, and started to apologize, "Amu, I am so…" "Don't even think of talking." Amu snapped, "Just, please lend me some money so I can call a taxi and get out of here." Ikuto's face tightened, thinking of refusing her the money, but finally went over to his wallet and gave her some. She nodded in thanks and then left. He stared at her retreating back, and when the door finally closed he sunk down in the closest chair, and just sat, not believing what he had just done.

**Again, I am sorry for taking so long to write. I hoped you enjoyed and please leave a review giving your thoughts. I'm sorry if I made Ikuto way out of character, had to be done. Thanks for reading ^.^**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm very very very VERY sorry that it's been so long. I have a few excuses…soccer…boy troubles…school…but really they are all stupid and not quite true. I don't really know why I stopped. Anyway, I need your guys help, I would really love some PMs for the way this story goes. Just tell me your ideas, right now I'm leaning toward something incredibly evil that all of you will hate me for (hehe) but if one of you guys come up with something that I like, the credit will be all yours and I will use it. ENJOY!**

_Recap:_

_Ikuto sighed, and ran his hand through his hair, and started to apologize, "Amu, I am so…" "Don't even think of talking." Amu snapped, "Just, please lend me some money so I can call a taxi and get out of here." Ikuto's face tightened, thinking of refusing her the money, but finally went over to his wallet and gave her some. She nodded in thanks and then left. He stared at her retreating back, and when the door finally closed he sunk down in the closest chair, and just sat, not believing what he had just done. _

Amu stumbled into her small apartment. She had called the taxi, and had proceeded to cry all the way back to her place. _The poor taxi driver, _she thought while laughing through her sobs, _he probably thinks I'm a psycho. _She tried to stand up straight and walk to her bedroom, but after a few steps she leaned against the wall, slid down it, and started sobbing even harder. She started to gasp and realized that she wasn't getting enough air, which made her laugh hysterically. After a few seconds of not being able to breathe she eventually got control of herself, and leaned her head back against the wall, staring into the distance with only a few tears sliding down her cheeks.

Amu sighed, and wiped her hand across her cheeks, not noticing the streaks of black her eye makeup left. She shakily stood up, and walked slowly down the hallway to her bedroom. She then proceeded to rummage around in her closet until she found a box that was labeled AMU HINAMORI: HIGHSCHOOL. Sighing while walking over to her pink bed, she reminisced. _I shouldn't have done that to Ikuto, _she cringed as she remembered what she had snapped at him, _"Don't even think of talking." Oh well, I'll think of that tomorrow. _Meanwhile she had opened the cardboard box until she found a bundle of letters wrapped in a midnight blue ribbon. True the paper had become a bit yellow, and the ribbon a tad frayed, still, it was as if she were in high school again.

When Ikuto hadn't been able to come visit her, or couldn't phone her he would write her a letter to give her later. The letter was always on the best paper that he could find, and was slipped into her hands when they passed each other in the hallways. She still remembered the excitement of getting each letter, the rushing of her heart when she thought about someone seeing them, and then the happiness she got when she read it in the girls bathroom later.

Amu sighed as she thumbed through them. However hard she tried to stop, she still craved the excitement of being with Ikuto. Adrenaline was always present at each of their "dates". She still craved the excitement of being the naughty girl for once, not caring about the consequences. Not caring about them…until they came crashing down on her. Saaya had eventually found out about their secret, and had destroyed it. She had spread nasty rumors about Amu. "She's a slut…caught with that geeky kid in science with all that acne…will do anything for a fix…caught with drugs in her locker…the teacher and her were in a car together doing things." Saaya had her revenge, and when Amu had been ruined, had viciously sought her out to taunt her. Amu closed her eyes and let the memory wash over her.

_**Flashback**_

"Well Amu, how do you feel now, happy, sad, or ruined?" Saaya leaned over Amu. She had found her on the roof of the school, one of the places that Amu and Ikuto had been together many times, though Saaya didn't know it. Instead, she remained blissfully ignorant about the extent of the relationship that they had shared. She thought that Ikuto had been slowly seduced, and, like a poor pet, had been taken over by the Hinamori slut. Saaya didn't realize that Amu and Ikuto had actually been friends, had talked together about things that she would never know, had awkward moments together that quickly passed, had actually kissed, not just touched lips together, but kissed. They had poured all their love for each other into one single physical act, had sweetly caressed each other just to know that the other was there. Saaya, however, thought it had just been a purely sexual relationship, and so, didn't hurt Amu as much as she would have.

"Well?" Saaya repeated, "How do you feel?" Amu sat there and let Saaya do the talking; she didn't have the energy to defend herself. She was still getting over the loss of Ikuto. By this time they would have been walking home from school together, carefully avoiding other people and smiling at each other. "I know I would feel terrible, taking a poor, innocent, beautiful girl's boyfriend. I would be devastated to have hurt the beautiful girl, meaning me of course, and would be groveling at her feet trying to figure out a way to make her feel better…" Amu stopped listening at that point. She knew she deserved everything that had happened to her; after all, she was in the wrong. She deserved everything that was happening to her. So, she lay back, and let everybody's hate and disgust wash over her. She started avoiding Ikuto, refusing to give herself the privilege of seeing him.

She closed her eyes and started thinking about him again, imagining he was right there, comforting her and telling Saaya to stop and leave her alone. In all the romance novels she had read the hero would suddenly appear. He would swoop in and save the damsel in distress, tell the evil witch/old girlfriend to leave her alone, and then rush over to the heroine. He would then bundle her in his arms and carry her off to his castle to live happily ever after. Amu opened her eyes and looked for the tell-tale flash of blue that would show that her hero had arrived, but there was nothing. A solitary tear ran down her cheek as she looked up at Saaya, still not hearing her words, but instead hearing Ikuto's voice telling her over and over, "You're a terrible person…You don't deserve me…leave me alone…I hate you…"

_**End Flashback**_

Another tear wan down Amu's cheek as she remembered. She still thought that she deserved everything that had happened to her. She was a slut, wasn't worthy of anyone, had to be happy with Tadase and not let herself be happy. She suddenly shoved the letters back in the box, got off her knees, and shakily stumbled over to her bed. She threw herself on the bed and just snuggled in the covers, not letting herself cry anymore, but just willing herself to sleep. And, finally, sleep found her.

**Thanks for reading! Again, PM me your ideas, and I might use them. Otherwise…well…you guys will hate me for what happens with the story haha. Review please; it's what keeps me going. I was looking through all of the old reviews, and I realized how unfair it was to not be writing for you guys, so I wrote haha. Again, PM me, and review if you don't mind :).**


	6. Author's Note

Hey guys, so I know I haven't updated in a long time, and I know you guys are probably pissed off at me about this only being an authors note, but I want to explain why I haven't updated. About a month ago my mother tried to commit suicide. She didn't succeed, but it was still very hard. I did have a chapter all written and ready to update, but I reread it and absolutely hated it. This story was going to have a happy ending, but...I just don't feel right giving everybody a happy ending because there aren't any sometimes. I will update soon, but if you don't want to read a sad ending I would suggest you not continue with this story. Just to clarify, I'm not looking for any pity, I realize that other people have it worse than me, I just wanted to explain why I haven't updated. I'll update soon.


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